"His face and neck turned chestnut red as he detailed his ideal mix of scandal and injustice. He wanted it above the fold, out front, on as many days as possible. He cited the latest exhaustive readership analysis, which declared that the average subscriber in Waters End had a six-figure income, an Ivy League education, a five-bedroom residence, four vehicles, a three-car garage and took prescription medication for high cholestrol, high blood pressure, Attention Deficit Disorder and erectile dysfunction. Happiness was an illness and bad news its only cure." (Chapter 2)